Tools - So Grateful for Tools

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the horror of a 17 year old who had to come to terms with SCA, the implanted defibrillator and the new restrictions on his life.  It made me think of the vast difference between the life-management skills an adult has compared to what we had as teens.

After that, my life entered a tumbler, a roller coaster ride of surprise, fear, joy, more fear and then sadness.  So after musing conceptually about my gratitude for the tools of adulthood, I then had an opportunity to dust off every single one of them to come through the rough tumble.    People find their skills in different places - some find them in a bottle, some in a church, others like me - in some 12 step program or another.  I remember in my early days and even more recent than that - being so confused when someone in a meeting said "Hi, I am Joe, a grateful recovering alcoholic", or "Hi, I'm Mary, a grateful member of Alanon".  Or whatever their 'qualification' for 12 steps was.  I thought - I'm not grateful; I'm pissed off I've had to deal with this crap that took me to those rooms.

But now I am reminded how grateful I am for the situation that took me there. I remember where my tool box is, even if some contents are dusty from lack of use. I pulled every single one of them out in the past couple weeks - they have gotten a workout, to be sure.

I don't know where I would be without the tools of 12 steps.  Nowhere good.