Platonic Relationships Fail

Genies do not go back into bottles.   If you want to ruin a platonic friendship, try kissing.  You don't even have to have sex - just make out.  Genie comes flying out.  Soaring, racing out.  Jet propelled out.

Throughout our friendship, we both knew that a 'normal' relationship was not possible, even though we are single. There are impediments, barriers - insurmountable issues and obstacles. Well, it's one very large one, I guess.  Maybe one and a half. Well, probably two. There is no question about our caring for one another, but these barriers are large.  Large as in --- I would have a better shot at pole-vaulting 15 feet than we would have getting past these issues.  We both knew it then and know it now.

We lost our heads and we kissed, made out - that is all it took to ruin this friendship that meant so much to me.   At first, I thought we could talk our way back into the platonic state.  But first he and then I came to understand that we had reached the land of "No Exit".  Genies don't go back into bottles, we cannot deny what happened,  talking about it doesn't vaporize it, and of course, we have to accept why it happened.  Then the unwelcome, hard fact - it would probably happen again.  So no going back.  

And those earlier barriers and impediments?  They are as real and as high as they ever were.

No way forward to a relationship; no way backwards to Plato.  The only thing left was the door.  Our friendship ended.  It is overwhelmingly sad and utterly inevitable.  Heartbreak.

Sometimes I hate being an adult.
Maybe I'll rethink it.

Loss

Is there such a thing as good loss?  We lose loved ones, we lose keys, we lose our looks, we lose pets, we lose our marbles.  This is a week of loss.  It seems I have lost a friend, always a sad turn of events. This one is particularly sad; it wasn't a notably complicated relationship, but it was invariably fun and engaging.  Well, truth be told, it was a little more complicated than that.  But it also was one formed in the aftermath of the Sudden Cardiac Arrest (SCA); I healed and learned to live with this in the context of that friendship.   It's just one of those twists and turns that life sends your way; life brings new friends and occasionally trips you up and sends one prematurely packing.  I wish it were different, but the circumstances of this demise are such that there is nothing I can do.

At least I didn't lose a heartbeat again.  I need always remember; everything is manageable so long as we don't lose that damn heartbeat.

Oh wait - there is good loss - I had an excellent weight loss week.  "There you have it" - I lost a friend, I lost my keys, I lost a book, I did not lose a heart beat and I lost a few pounds.  I think I'd trade for my friend back.